I went to church on Thursday

By the time I got downtown, the lines were terrible at every venue. I met Gus at the Canadian Blast party which had free food. We caught the beginning of Sam Roberts before taking off. We ended up at the French Legation Museum, which I have already gushed over on this blog.

We saw Camera Obscura, Pete & the Pirates, the Thermals, and Cursive. Overall it was a great set. The big surprise was Pete & the Pirates who were much better than we expected. Maybe if they actually posted an MP3 on the SXSW website, I would have had them on my must see list. Oh well, they're fault. Promotion is the key to a successful SXSW, if you can't handle sending SXSW a single MP3, you fail.

I then headed to the church. Actually, I need to be more specific because there were two church venues. I went to the Central Presbyterian Church to check out the Rural Alberta Advantage and Grizzly Bear (hereby known in this post as Grizzlebee, an homage to the fictional family restaurant in Sealab 2021). The church really annoyed me. You had to sit in the pews. If anyone was standing or sitting in the aisle, someone came out and claimed that the show legally couldn't start until everyone was sitting and the aisles were clear. There was no bar, only bottled water (at least it was only $1 and the people selling it were ridiculously nice, even refusing a tip). You even had to leave the venue to use the bathroom. Luckily, the amazing acoustics made up for most of the problems (except the no beer thing, that's just unforgivable at SXSW).


The venue was already running over 15 minutes behind when I got there. That's just inexcusable. The first band, Girls, was still on and they were running behind. How does that even happen? Do you wait until the scheduled start time to do a sound check? Did Girls show up late because they had a craving for Roppolo's Pizza? Were you drawn by the '80's music being blasted from the Roppolo's trailer in a shameless attempt to copy the style of Hoeks? No one may ever know the truth. And no one really cares.

The Rural Alberta Advantage put on a great show, but I'm planning a full post on that later.

After that, Grizzlebee came out and bored the last bit of buzz I had left. I mean, they're really good at their style of music. Unfortunately, they're style is "painfully boring". I know that a lot of people like them, but they're music is not for me. I know I'm not the only one either, because a large number of people waked out at the same time as me, about halfway through their set.

Funny side note about that set: I ran into my wife's friend Carter a few days later who told me he was also at the show. I mentioned that one of the members of the Rural Alberta Advantage was a friend of my Canadian coworker. Carter seemed relieved to hear that. He said that the band Girls had no girls in it, and Grizzlebee obviously didn't include any grizzly bears, so it was nice that one of the bands had a name that truly fit since the members really are from rural Alberta.

After the church I met Gus at the Parish for Thao and the Get Down, Stay Down. My one word review would have to be "eh." Gus claimed that her voice is what's so great about her music and that just doesn't come through when she plays live. That makes sense.

Next I headed to Stubb's for Andrew Bird, who was amazing. The guy is just so talented and he really knows how to put on a great show. The only problem is that his digital loop pedals kept making a loud pop every time he turned them on. I mean, the guy has been touring for a few months now, you'd think that they would have worked out the kinks by now. Oh well.


From there I headed to Emo's, which had a pretty good line. Gus was already at the front of the line and he tried to convince me to join him, thus cutting the line. After being so mad at people all weekend for cutting, I just didn't feel right about it. When you do something wrong, you're no longer allowed to bitch about other people doing it, that's just how I roll. It cost me about 15 minutes, but that's OK because the Passion Pit's lead singer has a really unique voice, but it gets really old after a few songs. Having to hear their whole set would have been torture.

This happened. I actually saw the guy at the Silversup Pickups show on Saturday, so yeah, he's got pretty good taste in music. Both times, he was being slobbered on by a bunch of random people. I was never one of those people. I swear. You can't prove anything.

We finished the night with Peter, Bjorn, and John. So, they're supposed to be some sort of super group, right? But every time Bjorn played bass, he played, at most, two different notes, but normally just one. I guess simplicity is just they're style, but it does get a little boring. It was a little crazy when they ended without whistling. But then they played an encore. It was totally obvious that they were sick of playing "Young Folks" but they totally understood that everyone there was waiting for it.

The end.

Dirty, stupid hipster

I thought The Dirtiest, Most Stupid Hipster competition was last week, but I think I just found a new competitor that we all must acknowledge before choosing a winner.

Let's see what we have here...

• black socks
• low cut chuck's (or equivalent)
• tighty bike shorts that are under...
  
• shorty teal running shorts
• fanny pack
• t-shirt with stupid teal pocket

Wow. I mean... WOW! If you think you can look dirtier or stupider than this guy, you have some work to do. One problem is that he was at a SXSW event. Stupid hipsters don't go to SXSW events. Those events are too main stream for the average stupid hipster. However, this event had $1 Lone Stars, so there's a chance that he was only there for that. No hipster, no matter how dirty or stupid, can resist the call of cheap lone star. To be honest though, hanging out at the French Legation drinking $1 lone stars and eating free ice cream... it's next to godliness. OK, I give. This guy is neither stupid or dirty. He's just annoying and dresses like an attention deprived 12 year-old.

Doesn't this place look awesome (see below)? I can't wait to hang out here next year. Especially if they have cheap lone star. Wait, what did I just say? Dammit, I'm becoming one of them. Hide the black socks!

What is this? The Foreign Legion?

No, it's the French Legation Museum. Gus and I went there on Thursday for a day show and it was fantastic. The shows are in a beautiful outdoor area with lots of shade. The show was completely free. There were no lines and the place never really got packed. It was a great place to relax, drink a beer, and catch a great show. I highly recommend it. The pictures below are of the main stage tent, The Thermals, and Cursive.

Are these shoes on the correct feet?

In this photo you'll notice a few things. In the yellow circle you'll see a pair of Chuck Taylor All Stars. One shoe is red and the other is blue. The girl wearing them decided long ago that she has no fashion sense so she should just wear exactly the opposite thing that a normal person would wear, therefore she can claim that she wears ugly apparel on purpose. I've been there. I get it. But, come on, it looks stupid.

Notice that the Chuck Taylor symbol is on the inside of the shoe. Doesn't that seem odd? Shouldn't the advertisement be on the outside? When I wore Chucks, the symbol was on the outside. Also, don't her feat just look... odd? Did she... oh my GOD... did she put her shoes on the wrong feet? Well, as you can see in the red circle, Gus took a close up picture. So, what do you think this picture reveals? Are the shoes on the wrong feet? I guess we'll just have to wait for Gus to post the picture on metroplaza.net or thisisnotamusicblog.com. Or maybe he'll post the picture here, stay tuned.

(This picture was taken during the Peter, Bjorn, and John showcase at Emo's, in case you care.)

Quick Wednesday Recap

The first thing I did was go to Radio Room to meet Gus at the Amanda Palmer show. I was late because I couldn't find parking. When I got to the show, she was wrapping up with a cover of Radiohead's "Creep" that she was playing with a ukulele. I tried to get a picture of it, but then I realized that I had no camera. DAMMIT! I think the picture would have looked something like this:

Next, Gus and I headed over see The Thermals at Red 7. The show was pretty crowded... with 18 year old hipsters. DAMMIT! I knew that if hipsters were bothering me already, I would never make it through the week. So I calmed down and listened to the show. The Thermals were fun, energetic, and looked something liked this:


That's right, the lead singer popped his collar for the entire show. Also, the bassist had long curly hair that bounced while she played. I'm an awesome artist, aren't I? So, at this point I realized that my iPhone had a suitable camera on it, so no more drawings.

After that show we played some pinball at Creekside, ate a brat, saw the end of the We Were Promised Jet Packs set, and then had a few drinks at Mugshots. While waking around, I found out that Hoek's has a knew location on 6th street. This location appears to be permanent. Finally!


After Mugshots we decided to go to the Fader Fort. I didn't have my wristband yet, so I had to stand in the 45 minute line. It was brutal, but Gus's text message that informed me of the free beer and SoCo inside fueled my determination. Once inside, we checked out Graham Coxon. He wasn't bad, but just wan't intersting. We decided to go get another free SoCo to see if that would help. It didn't help, so we walked around to see the other attractions and ended up in some photo booth. After that we saw some British band named Micachu. They were actually pretty good, but we couldn't tell if the singer was a man or woman. (I have since confirmed that she is, in fact, female.)


I then split from Gus because I needed to go to the Convention center to pick up a pocket guide that they forgot to give me on Tuesday. After dealing with that, I walked back downtown. Along the way I ran into some skateboarder's filming some tricks. They weren't very good, but at least they were trying.

For the showcases, I saw Arms & Legs, Ladyhawke, Alaska in Winter, Dananananakroyd, An Horse, and Natalie Portman's Shaved Head. I think the most impressive sets were from Dananananakroyd and An Horse. Something strange that I noticed was that both Arms & Legs and Dananananakroyd had two drummers. That's two more drummers than many bands at SXSW. I have been critical in the past of bands deciding to go without a drummer. It's so hard for the crowd to get into a show without a driving rythm. I'm happy to see that this wan't a problem on Wednesday.

My (fake) SXSW press conference

Before we begin, I'd like to thank you all for coming. These past days have been very difficult for me and other SXSW Music attendees. I must be honest, it is difficult to watch the film and interactive attendees see so much joy while the rest of us must wait in stoic silence. I am personally ready to come out and ask the question that's on everyone's mind, when will SXSW Music finally show it's face?

Hold on... I've just been given the latest intelligence. Apparently the SXSW Music festival has been spotted and should arrive within the next 36 hours. Finally, some good news. Wait... I'm also being told... yes... the packet? Understood...

Tomorrow will mark the release of SXSW badges. Notice how I didn't qualify SXSW with the word "Music". That is because the film and interactive portions of SXSW are for pussies and will not be recognized here. True, some of my kin, the bloggers, attend interactive. However, they understand the chain of command. While interactive might be an incredible (boring) nerd fest that brings facebook, twitter, and all the iPhones in Austin to a crawl, the music festival is still THE event that rules them all. Oh, and "Film" can go back to Colorado... California... Bollywood... wherever it came from, and take Mr. Knowles with you! We all know that Harry is a fake after that Star Wars: Episode Two review. Anyone who liked that is a corporate whore... or possibly a cyborg... no... no... not possible... he must be a corporate whore shilling for those that let him see the movie early. Oh wait... that's obvious to EVERYONE.

Tomorrow, comrades, we will collect our badges, and more importantly, the promotional bag of crap that is waiting for us. While 90% of the bag correctly bares it's namesake (crap), there are sometimes jems... such as last year's Sgt. Solo. Let me take this moment to share with you all that Sgt. Solo still guards my work cubicle with the vigilance of a plastic army man charged with the orders to protect the occupant of the premicise at all costs.


I will now open the floor to Q&A.

Yes, you with the black eye shadow and spikey hair, what's your question? What was that? You want to know if I'lll attend the Metallica show on Friday?!?

Let me start by saying that the Metallica show may be the biggest show of the festival. If I completely dismissed this show, I'd be turning my back on pop culture and thus, the entire blogger community and everything that teenagers consider "cool". Unfortunately, I think Metallica is a bunch of old douchebags that are so scared of the future they try to destroy it. Well, wait... back up for a second... I would never call them douchbags to their faces. Not without the U.S. army between me and their devoted (and really scary) fans. But still, I think that their attitude towards digital music and the internet is slowly killing the music industry. For instance, what is the biggest innovation in music in the past 5 years? That would be the iPod. Think about it, the iPod wouldn't exist without Napster (or an equivalent technology). Let's think about that, a world withough MP3 players is a world that none of us want to even imagine. Metallica, embrace the fact that you need to make money off of music without directly selling it on a physical medium or you will die. Radiohead gets it. NiN gets it. The labels (which all have contracts with iTunes) get it. Why can't Metallica figure that out? Alright! Stop it! That was a rhetorical question, let's continue...

Next question.

What other rumors have I heard about SXSW performances? Well, let's see. Metallica is promoting they're Guitar Hero game, but we all know about that. Kanye West is playing the Fader Fort, count on it. Don't even get me started about ShitByJortsWest! Also, Pearl Jam will play a surprise show to promote their new album, and the Meat Puppets performance will be one long impromptu jazz session, showing their new artistic direction. Everything else is pretty much public knowledge, such as The Smiths' reunion on Maggie Mae's roof, etc.

That will be the last question, thank you all for coming. I look forward to seeing you all on Wednesday afternoon. (Please help protect me from the 'riod raging Metallica fans. I really didn't mean to piss them off and now fear for my life! Just kidding. They're all pussies.)

PS - Please don't make me appologize for calling Metallica and the're fans "pussies", it was obviously a joke. Besides, notice that my complete lack of creativity caused me to also call the film and interactive attendees "pussies". So get in line, right there behind Kevin Rose, he's first!